Mawwige is what bwings us towether toway
It's happened. They're dropping like flies. And now I'm finally terrified. I do understand. I have become a woman.

The clue wasn't when I started officiating weddings - it was when I received two save the date cards, and they were for within a day of each other - half a year at least in advance!

What am I talking about?

Marriage.

I am terrified.

My friends are all getting married. And I had that first pang of "HOLY SHIT! Am I fucking next? Please god, I'm not ready! Spare me!"

On the one hand, I'm dating a great guy. And I'm 24. I have plenty of time. There's no pressure.

And on the other hand, they're *getting married.* And great guy's family is bothering great guy's sister to find out from me, or from him, when we're going doing the deed. I practically feel like I'm in high school again.

My family is being much better, I think it's only because none of the grandchildren in my generation have broken that barrier yet, and I'm not oldest, so it's not "my job."

The fear is not getting married to him - that's not it at all. Being married to great guy would be, well, great. It's the state of marriage, the acting of weddings, the family politics, the inevitability of all of it. Isn't this something I always thought I wanted?

Basically, my best friend when I was in 8th grade is engaged. While in college, she re-met the guy she had been dating when we were in 8th grade, and then she called me out of the blue last summer since she had a job interview in DC, and she asked to stay with me. So she came down, we caught up, then she got engaged. So she send me a save the date e-mail for July 18th, 04 for either New Jersey or Philadelphia (where they live or where they're from) sometime earlier this month. And then I just got an e-mail for a save the date for July 17th, 04 for a wedding of another not nearly as long term, nor close friend, with a wedding in Williamsburg, VA. Now, there's no question as to which one I'm going to. But the fact that they're letting me know *now*?! Will I be like this when I get married? If I get married?

That's it. I am now officially a woman in my mid twenties.

Rant over.
- posted by Misquote @ 1:08 PM

 
Are they kidding? Is this for real? A sick joke? A nightmare?
My boyfriend didn't tell me about the synagogue bombing in Istanbul on Saturday, because he didn't want to upset me. I had told him before that I can't get upset about things like that anymore - they happen so often, how could I let myself? Simply, I can't.

That was a blatant lie.

I am Jewish. I am proud to be Jewish. I am an American. I am proud to be an American (which is separate than being proud of President Monkey-Face).

And I admit it, to you, my anonymous readers - I am terrified.

I am terrified of the hate in the world that would allow people to do this. I am terrified that we can all stand together in solidarity and be strong for our country, and that overwhelming love for what we all have in common does not save us from hate. And as other countries try to stand with us, they suffer and suffer again. Will they still be able to stand with us before the hate consumes them, too?
- posted by Misquote @ 10:34 AM

 
And so it begins...
Deep down, I know what I want. And deep down, I want to say "Stop being such a fucking coward idiot!" But the smart part of me is keeping her mouth shut.

Cryptic? Of course. Anyone can read what's on the web.
- posted by Misquote @ 10:33 AM